The "other" woman

The "other" woman has a bad reputation. She is often portrayed as a cold-hearted seductress who lures a dutiful husband and father away from his devoted wife and dependent children, so that she can take advantage of of him. She is pictured as being wined and dined at his expense, receiving expensive gifts, perhaps having her living accommodations subsidized and just generally being spoiled rotten, all with no strings attached, by someone else's husband.

Actually, the other woman is a only small and relatively unimportant part of the unfortunate scenario. If the man is an adult, and of sound mind, he is the one to make the ultimate choice of whether to remain faithful to his wife, or to become involved with someone else. If he was in a loving, committed relationship and was determined to honor to his marital vows, not even the most beautiful woman on earth could tempt him to stray.

What then, can be said of the other woman?

* She is perceptive. She senses a loneliness or a lack of an important emotional factor in the man's life and present relationship. She suspects that she would be able to fill the vacuum.

* She is realistic. She understands that some marriages were not true unions right from the beginning. At this point, she lets it be known that she is available, at least for friendship. Some women take this step quite aggressively, others are more subtle.

* She is a risk-taker. She knows she could be taken advantage of, then thrust aside, when the target of her romantic interest decides to return to home and hearth.

* At this junction, the man assumes control of the situation. He must make the decision. "Should I pursue this opportunity or ignore it?" Nothing has happened; no bridges have been burned. He now has to decide whether to be faithful to his marriage vows, or to move on and search for a better life. The more dishonorable males will try to have the best of both worlds.

* The other woman is not to be envied. She is destined to live a clandestine life, always relegated to the shadows. She will be alone on important holidays and most of every weekend. She cannot openly introduce her significant other to her family and friends. Her financial advantage will not be great; most men today struggle to keep one household running, never mind two. Meanwhile, time is passing, her biological clock is ticking, and her physical attractiveness fades a little every day.

* If she were smarter, she would keep her options open. How much better would it be to instruct her potential romantic interest to free himself of all encumbrances, then to get in touch? Meanwhile, she could continue dating others and maybe meet Mr. Right in the process. This would be the most practical and advantageous avenue down which to advance.

Unfortunately, the "other" woman often allows her emotions to interfere with taking steps which would be in her own best interest. She will probably stand by patiently while her potential partner makes the decision, and perhaps extricates himself from his former relationship.

However as the old adage declares; "Nothing is permanent except change." It behooves her to remember that her intended has walked away from his wedding vows once; these things are always easier to do a second time