The pros and cons of having an affair

So, you're contemplating an affair. You're bored with your marriage. You feel your spouse takes you for granted. The kids treat you as a combination servant and chauffeur. The job is the same routine, day after day, secure enough but with no chance for advancement.

The years are passing by and your life seems like a pool of stagnant mud, slowly drying up without even a ripple of excitement to relieve the steady, tedious deterioration of your youthful high spirits.

Then out of the blue, a colleague, whom you've always found attractive, invites you for dinner and drinks later at their place. You find that even the invitation is exciting, but you're knowledgeable enough to know where an acceptance will probably lead.

Let's consider a minute the pros and cons of having an affair. After all, it's an important decision.

PROS

* Your life will immediately become exciting. You'll feel younger and more desirable. It will be fun (for a while).

CONS

* You would be breaking your marriage vows. On your wedding day, you swore before God and the people present to be faithful to your spouse. Can your solemn word be trusted, or not?

* If your spouse discovers you've been unfaithful, imagine the look of hurt and accusation you'll see in those eyes. You're not the only one who has worked hard every day to benefit the family. Your spouse may be neglectful, but does s/he deserve the act of treason you're considering?

* Your life will be more exciting all right. How are your nerves? Can you stand the extra stress of sneaking around, fearing to be seen? If you want excitement, why not just rob a bank?

* What about your children? If the affair becomes public, as these flings usually do eventually, will you be able to face them when they know what you've done? Any respect they have for you as a parent and a decent human being will be seriously diminished.

* You've put years of effort into raising the children and establishing a home and family. Are you willing to risk losing it all?

* If you're discovered, your spouse, even if s/he decides to give you another chance, will never fully trust you again. If s/he decides to leave, half of your financial worth is the least of the assets you'll forfeit.

* What about this would-be paramour? Do you think it's the first time they've tried to pull this caper? Not likely. You're probably the latest in a line of conquests. From their point of view, married lovers are great, no gifts expected, no strings, so grateful for attention and compliments. You could even be at risk of contracting an STD.

* You'll risk being labelled amoral, a home-wrecker, and designated by other unsavoury appellations.

Obviously, the "cons" outweigh the "pros".

Even the "pros" can be reinvented with a little creativity. You want excitement? And fun? Book a surprise week in Las Vegas with your spouse, without the kids. Whatever the cost, it will be cheap compared to a divorce and the division of assets.

It will also be a lot easier to justify than having an affair. "What made you do it?", your spouse may ask. You can reply that you felt as if your marriage needed rejuvenation. You won't even have to lie.

You want to feel younger and more desirable? A day at a spa, a few new outfits, a massage, a new hairdo, a facelift or tummy-tuck, whatever it takes will be preferable to the alternative.

It all comes down to choices. Make the right one. Inform your colleague with the wandering eye to find another playmate. You're happily married and you intend to stay that way.