Should a bride take her husband's surname or keep her own?

When two people fall in love, they spend as much time together as possible. When they are apart, each one feels that something important is missing in their world. They will eagerly plan the next occasion when they can be together. They will rearrange schedules, neglect friends, and skip family functions just so that they can enjoy each other's company.

Finally, they make the decision that they wish to be together permanently and they get married. They declare before God, their families, friends,and communities that they are no longer two single people, but a couple. As a sign that they now form a unit, a family, it has been a tradition that the wife assumes the husband's surname. I believe this tradition has value, and is worthwhile preserving.

Sharing a name is a symbol of sharing a life. It is a continuing reminder to each partner that the other half of the family must be considered before making plans or important decisions. When Joe Smith plans a night out with the boys, he may well be asked, "And will Mrs. Smith be joining us?" He'll be forcefully reminded that he had better consult her.

It is sometimes difficult to give up the autonomy enjoyed as a single person. Becoming a couple requires much adjustment. The sharing of a surname signifies a willingness to discuss, to compromise, to negotiate, to find solutions to problems which will satisfy both members of the new family.

When children come along, sharing the same family name as Mom and Dad adds to their sense of security. It's a way of saying, "We're a family and you belong with us. See, we all have the same last name- we're the Smiths"

There are a few less important reasons also to take into consideration. Are you ready for the fish-eyed glances from suspicious acquaintances who learn that Mr. Smith has moved in with Ms Jones? Hmmm....

How will family and friends address future Christmas cards? Ms Jones, Mr. Smith and Junior Whatever? Or maybe...To Whom It May Concern? You have to plan ahead.

Some may wonder if a wife who insists on keeping her maiden name is really and truly committed to making the marriage work. Is she looking ahead to avoid a hassle in case of divorce? She may be thinking that, if the marriage fails, at least she'll be spared the bother of making another name change.

That's no way to enter a marriage. If you are mature and confident enough to take the plunge, do it wholeheartedly. Be willing to share your hearts, all aspects of your lives and one name. It will avoid questions, puzzled expressions and suspicions in the years to come. It will be better for everyone, you, your spouse, and your children, not to mention those poor people will be trying to address your future Christmas cards.