What constitutes cheating in a relationship?

When you're in a committed relationship, what constitutes cheating? Often there will be heated discussions and genuine disagreements about this matter. Each partner's view will depend largely on his or her tolerance level, self-confidence and security within the relationship.

For the sake of future peace, it would be worthwhile to have a frank and open discussion about each of these behaviours before the occasions arise. Perhaps what one partner considers harmless fooling around, will be seen as grounds for a break-up by the other. Explore the topics early on and avoid the possibility of unexpected, major emotional storms later on.

A) Confiding personal situations and emotions to another member of the opposite sex. Some people consider this just as bad, if not worse than actual physical cheating. Your significant other is supposed to be your best friend, the one with whom you feel comfortable discussing personal issues. Emotional closeness is just as important as physical closeness. To share deeply-felt thoughts and feelings with anyone else of the opposite sex may be considered a form of betrayal.

B) Flirting. Some flirting is natural between males and females and is usually considered just part of the by-play in social situations. Both participants usually know it's all in fun and will never go any further. If, however, the comments become sexual and one or the other suggests continuing the conversation at another time and place, it's definitely time to back off.

C) Dancing Closely. Dancing can be a very sensual activity. If you are at a social affair, and grinding away in a very suggestive manner, to a slow rhythm, with someone other than your partner, you are asking for trouble.

D) Going to strip clubs. The acceptance or nonacceptance of this activity depends on the tolerance level of your boyfriend or girlfriend. It's unlikely that any partner will actually like the idea of their mate gazing appreciatively at someone else's scantily-clad body. For the occasional boys' or girls' night out, you may be able to get away with it. Paying money to touch the stripper's body will probably be grounds for a break-up.

E) Pornography. This is only one degree away from actual cheating. It is hurtful and insulting to one partner to feel that their soul mate would rather relate in this way to the image of a stranger than to them. It's a sign of something seriously wrong with the relationship.

F) Engaging in a sexual act. No discussion needed. Kissing, caressing or having sex with another person is the ultimate act of infidelity. Both parties will agree that these actions will end their monogamous relationship.

There was a time when cheating had only one definition. Today men and women are more complex and less tolerant of betrayal. Besides, health issues have arisen which may make fidelity to one and only one partner an actual matter of life and death. The issue of trust between the two people in a relationship has become a matter of great importance.

If you ever find you're confused about whether some act or conversation constitutes infidelity, picture your partner behaving the same way with another person. Would you be upset if you found out? Even if what you're considering seems like harmless fooling around, you had better reconsider. Your partner may not be as tolerant, self-confident or as secure in your relationship as you are. If you value your relationship, think again.